The Seven Habits of Highly Effecitve People - 2
Following summary is extracted from Chapter 1 of BPF Performance Tools: Linux System and Application Observability.
NOTE: Most of this summary are full quotes from the book; all diagrams are copied from the book.
Definition of Habit
Habit comprises of:
- Knowledge: what to do and why
- Skill: how to do
- Desire: want to do
Dependent - Independent - Interdependent
Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.
Three Kinds of Assets
- Physical
- Financial
- Human
And we have to balance between the P (Production) and PC (Production Capability) of each of these resources. In other words, we need to both
- Put these resources to real use so they produce value
- But at the same time, pay great attention to maintenance to retain their production capability
The first Habit - Be Proactive
Principles of Personal Vision
A person can be influenced in a determined way through 3 social maps:
- Genetic determinism: your grandparents had short termpers and so do you; it’s in your DNA; it’s the nature of people from your country…
- Psychic determinism: your parents did it to you - your upbringing
- Environmental determinism - your boss/spouse/economic situation… did it to you
Each of these map influences a person in stimulus/response mechanism. We are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus.
But remember this:
Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.
Define Proactivity
Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.
The word “responsibility” - “response-ability” - the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility.
Don’t blame circumstances, conditions for your behavior. Your behavior is a product of your own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of your conditions, based on feeling.
Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn’t a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not.
The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person… Proactive people are driven by values - carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.
How To Be Proactive
Your language:
| Reactive | Proactive |
|---|---|
| There’s nothing I can do. | Let’s look at our alternatives. |
| That’s just the way I am. | I can choose a different approach. |
| He makes me so mad. | I control my own feelings. |
| They won’t allow that. | I can create an effective presentation. |
| I have to do that. | I will choose an appropriate response. |
| I can’t. | I choose. |
| I must. | I prefer. |
| If only. | I will. |
Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence
Another way to become more self-aware of our own degree of proactivity is by looing at how we focus our time and energy.
We have many concerns. Separate those that we can control and those that we do not have any controls over.
In the picture, “Circle of Influence” are things we DO have control over.
Proactiev people focus their efforts in what they can do something about and enlarge the Circle of Influence.
Direct, Indirect and No Control
Problems we face fall in one of three categories:
- Direct control: problems involving our own behavior
- Indirect control: problems involving other people’s behavior
- No control: problems we can do nothing about
Proactive approach to each problems:
- Direct control: working on our habits
- Indirect control: changing our methods of influence
- No control: learn to live/embrace them (essentially changing the way we look at it).
The “Have’s” and the “Be’s”
One way to deterine which circle our concern falls in is to distinguish between the have’s and the be’s.
Circle of Concern is filled with have’s:
- I’ll be happy when I have…
- If only I had…
- If I had…
Circle of Influence is filled with be’s: be wise, be more patient, be loving - focus on the character.
NOTE: mistakes we made are in the Circle of Concern - it’s done deal. When we made mistakes, quickly learn from it but don’t regret it.
NOTE: making promises/commitments - to others and to yourselves - and keeping them are the best way to take control of your own habit and to establish our own integrity. Our honor will become greater than our mood.